The Central Line

We met a really important old man, whom we quickly deemed The Womanizer, on the boat. When we finally arrived in Kigoma he said he could help us get 1st or 2nd class tickets on next day's train (you usually need to make a reservation weeks in advance). He took care of it. After a ten-hour delay, a really long sweaty cockroach-ridden night, which set my train journey to 50+ hours, we finally left at about 6am. We were so hot because they force you to keep the door closed, to keep the thieves from coming in from inside the train, and the window closed, to keep the thieves from coming in from above the train. After twelve hours we stopped in a big town called Tabora. I got out to have a drink and I met four Germans. They looked like hell. They said they had been sitting in third class and it was awful. "Why didn't you take first or second class?" I asked them. "We made reservations weeks ago but when we arrived today they said they didn't have them anymore." Oops. Thanks, Womanizer.
The picture is of a member of the Tanzanian Army whom I traveled with for about 30 hours. I told him I'd like to take his picture and I'd send it to him. He looked cool hanging out the train wearing his fatigues. But he insisted on changing into his best shirt because he doesn't have a picture of himself and he wants it to be nice. His name is Ulaiya which means Europe in Swahili.

Extreme Boarding

After a nice two day visit to Mpulungu, Zambia, where I was greeted by 4 men with 4 big guns in a small dark room, we left northward for Kigoma. The boat stops a total of about 17 times to upload/offload/embark/disembark things and people. There are only 3 ports however - Mpulungu, Kasanga and Kigoma. Therefore, the way the boarding works is via tiny, medium and huge canoes which wait in the water about a mile from the shore for the Liemba to pull up. Then the boats wrestle with each other for space close to the only door on the side of the ship. At that point, they begin screeming and pushing and throwing things into the belly of the ship while, simultaneously, the belly spits objects out into the canoes. I'm in first class, so this is a show for me. My favorite show was the 2am late flick when most of the boatmen are drunk and the waves are a bit bigger. It's pretty extreme. In any particular 5 second period you can see three babies, 2 chicken, a mattress and an elderly woman literally thrown in or out of this door. And each stop is anywhere from 30 minutes to 5 hours. I visited the slaves quarters (3rd class) before it was half full and I've never seen anything like it in my life. By the end of the trip when the deck was as full as it is in the picture, down below must have been a literal hellhole.

The MV Liemba

We arrived in Kasanga on Thursday set to board the MV Liemba Friday evening. Of course we heard that the boat was a day late, no problem. So, we spent another day in the village at a beautiful kinda dirty little guesthouse run by really nice prostitutes who love to look at maps. Saturday evening we took a small hand carved canoe, which involved one of us rowing and one of us scooping the water which came in faster than the bucket could remove it, while the half-drunk local boatman smiled and paddled in the rear of the vessel. God was on our side (for a minute) because the boat arrived! But not long after it arrived we realized it was not 1 day late but about 4 days late because it was headed in the wrong direction. Hence, with 5 days on this big burly boat we found ways to pass the time. This homemade chess set is an example. (Christoph, the Austrian in the middle of the pic below beat me up pretty good).

The Australians

In the village of Kasanga I met three Austrians - a father and his two sons. They had arrived at this place with the same intention as me, to board the MV Liemba and take it two days up to Kigoma. We would end up travelling together for the next week. They were great company and easy to travel with. I would have left them after the first day if they were anything like one of the tour groups we ran into a few days later. They didn't know how to speak Swahili since they had only been in the country for two weeks so I would do all of the talking in situations where English wasn't possible. The conversation usually began like this: "Where are those 3 white people from?" -"Austria." "Ohhhh, Australia." -"No, Austria - it's in Europe." "Ohhhh, Australia is in Europe." -"No, Austria is near Germany." "I would like to visit Australia one day."

Kids on the Beach

These little bastards were bathing at the beach in Kasanga village. We did some drawing in the sand. I decided to write a math problem and they immediately scrambled searching for sticks. Then they proceeded to complete the problem and all subsequent problems using the stick as a pen and their legs, arms and stomachs as paper. They were very good at this type of writing which might help to explain why when I arrived in the village instead of begging for the usual - money - they begged for pens.

Sumbawanga

"When you get to Sumbawanga, go to the Safari guesthouse and find my brothers. They'll take care of you" - friend and colleauge

Took care of me they did. My friend's brothers pretty much own this cute little town. Upon my arrival they immediately fed me beers and meat. I thought they would give me a good deal on a room. They gave me the master bedroom at their beautiful home (which includes an overhead shower with hot water). They took me for a tour of the town in their Japanese automobile and bought me food to take with me. Then they bought my bus ticket to my next destination and told me if I come back I can stay as long as I want. This was a good day.

Bus

I arrived at the bus stop at 6:30am to find no bus - no surprise. Then a guy came from across the street apparently trying to sell me a ticket for another bus. No buddy, I have my ticket, I don't need another one. He says, "but this one is better. You need this one." No, I need my bus to show up, I don't need a new ticket. But this short man was persistent and finally I asked if I could look at his ticket. It was paid and next to NAME it said BENNY. What the hell? How does this guy know who I am. Turned out, my bus broke so the bus company bought me a new ticket and sent the little guy to give it to me. It would pick me up in an hour. Pretty impressive.

What was less impressive was the condition of the bus. I had to breath with my hand over my mouth to keep from swallowing the flys. I was one of five sitting on a bench seat made for three. I new I was in for big trouble at the two hour mark. At this point, where the paved road ends and we move onto the trail for the next 4 to 8 hours, the man to my left took a plastic bag out of his pocket, folded the opening of it around his hand and put it in position in front of his mouth. At least he was well prepared. Five hours later I thought he might fill the bag. I hate puke smell worse than I hate fish smell. And I hate fish smell pretty bad.

"Sorry for your vacation"

The most overused expression in Swahili is "pole" which means "sorry." If you fall they say pole, when you work they say pole, if it's hot they say pole, if its cold they say pole, etc. So when I told my friends and colleagues about my trip I received a thousand pole's and pole sana's (very sorry).

What is everyone sorry about? I've chosen to take this trip for my vacation, it wasn't forced upon me. But today reality hit when I was sitting on a mini-bus heading to town and the engine blew, sidelining the bus. As the conductor was trying his best to quickly repair the bus I remembered that I'm in a country where transportation hurts. Today I was able to hop out of the bus and flag down another one to bring me to town. But if the boat I plan to take has the same problem I might be in for more of a hassle. And the inevitable hassles that I expect may prove to be more trying than I expect. Hence, I very well may be sorry that instead of going to Zanzibar to relax on the beach for my vacation I decided to circle the country on its transportation.

The plan: some buses, a boat, some smaller boats, a train, another train.